Have you ever sat with a problem for days, turning it over and over in your mind, and quietly started to worry that something’s wrong with you? That you’re one of those people who overthinks everything, who can’t just make a decision and move on?
I want to offer you a different way of looking at that.
I once heard, from someone far wiser than me, that if you have a genuine problem to solve, you should sit alone, without distraction, for one hour. No phone, no scrolling, no to-do list nagging at you in the background. Just you and the problem. And somewhere in that hour, your mind will hand you the answer.
I think about this a lot, because it runs completely against how we’re taught to operate. We live in a world that prizes speed. Quick decisions, fast replies, instant solutions. So when we find ourselves still thinking about something three days later, we assume we’re doing it wrong. We label it fretting, or rumination, or being a worrier, and then we start worrying about the fact that we’re worrying. It becomes a loop with no exit.
But here’s the reframe I’d love you to sit with. What if that time isn’t wasted, unproductive worry, but is in fact your mind doing exactly what it needs to do? Given enough time, most of us already have the answer. We just need the space to process it properly, and processing isn’t only about assessing the facts in front of us. It’s also about imagination, about letting our mind wander into the possibilities, test out a few different paths, and quietly work out which one feels right. That’s not worry. That’s reflection. And reflection is one of the most valuable, most underrated skills a practice owner or manager can have.
The difference isn’t really about how much time you spend thinking. It’s about the relationship you have with that thinking. Worry feels frantic, even when it’s silent. It’s the voice saying come on, what do I do, or I wish I wasn’t like this, why can’t I just decide. It’s impatient with itself. It treats the not knowing as a problem to be ashamed of, rather than a natural part of working something out. And because it’s wrapped up in that discomfort, it rarely gets anywhere. You end up ruminating about the rumination.
Reflection, on the other hand, is quiet action. It’s not hurried or urgent or stressful, but it is still action. You’re not avoiding the problem, you’re giving your mind the room it needs to sort through everything it knows, everything it’s observed, and everything it can imagine, so it can deliver a considered path forward. Same situation, same amount of time spent thinking, completely different experience, and completely different outcome.
This might sound like a small shift, just a change in wording, but it genuinely changes how the process feels and how well it works. When you tell yourself I’m worrying, you tend to reach for distraction, or you push yourself to make a decision before you’re actually ready, just to make the discomfort stop. Neither of those helps you find your best answer, they just help you feel like you’re doing something. When you tell yourself I’m reflecting, you give yourself permission to stay with the problem a little longer. You trust that your mind is working, even when nothing has been decided yet, and that trust changes the quality of your thinking. Instead of anxious, looping thoughts, you start to notice more useful ones. Ideas connect, options become clearer, and the path forward starts to take shape, in its own time.
So next time you catch yourself stuck on something, notice what you’re telling yourself about it. If the story is I can’t let this go, something’s wrong with me, try gently swapping it for I’m reflecting on this, and my mind is doing its job. Give yourself the hour if you can, or even ten quiet minutes without your phone, not to force an answer, but to let your mind do the work it’s naturally very good at, when we stop interrupting it with self-criticism. You’re not stuck. You’re processing. And more often than not, the answer really does arrive, right on time.